Look, before we get into a full blown discussion that somehow spirals into a religious debate, because they somehow always do, let me be clear, I have no idea what this was and I am not looking at this in any way other than from the perspective of THIS HAPPENED, WHAT WAS IT, and HAS IT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU. I don't think I'm a medium. I do believe in God, ghosts/ spirits, extra-terrestrials and the ability to connect with the other side.
Last week I started a diet. I'm wanting to lose a good bit of weight so its been pretty intense. I'm on weight watchers so I've cut calories immensely and I'm also doing intermittent fasting. I don't eat anything before 11AM and nothing after 7PM. Other than that, nothing in my world has really changed recently in a way that would trigger something of this sort.
Monday night I was restless. Since beginning my diet, it's been harder for me to easily fall asleep. Once I'm out, I rest fairly well, but it's hard to get there. I laid in bed and finished every episode of the new season of "The Story of God with Morgan Freeman" on Netflix, which by the way, is a MUST watch! I wish everyone would watch this show. Especially people who have a hard time understanding, or wanting to understand, why other people practice religions other than their own. It's a beautiful series, and Morgan Freeman, a Christian, has a beautiful way of communicating love with these people while finding out more about them. He does it with NO judgement. Something we could all stand to practice a bit more.
I tossed and turned. Around 2AM I guess I finally dozed off. Normally, everything wakes me up. Especially the creaky floor by my bedroom door. If Rori (my daughter) comes to my room for something while I'm asleep, I wake up before she ever even makes it to my room just by hearing her footsteps. I finished the last episode and I was finally out cold. TV was still on but had gone into "sleep mode" so there was just a screen saver rotating. My door was open and my fan was on. What happens next is where it gets weird.
I remember a BRIGHT, like blindingly bright, light being shone in my eyes. I saw it from behind my eyelids and it still felt blinding. It felt like someone had a flashlight a few inches from my face and was just holding it there. Yet, you know how when you see a bright light but your eyes are closed so it shows up reddish or tinted in some way, yeah there was none of that. I had to have been staring at it for a solid 10 seconds before opening my eyes, sitting straight up in bed and screaming with every ounce of energy I had, "HELLO??!!!!". Once my eyes were open, there was no sign of light. The tv was dim. I wasn't seeing bright spots like when you close your eyes tightly and then open them. Just darkness and the sound of my fan...and my racing heart. I was trembling from the moment my eyes opened. A fear had overcome me unlike anything I'd ever felt. There were no thoughts of, "you're being stupid, go back to bed" or "that was a weird dream", but instead "WHAT WAS THAT LIGHT", "I know I am not crazy. Something was in my eyes!" and "I know it wasn't a dream". I got up, turned the fan off so I could hear better, and instead of just my bedside lamp, flipped every switch in my room on. I wandered the house knowing I would find nothing, but double checked all locks in hopes to ease my mind in some way. It didn't help. Back to my body. I was not just trembling in fear, I was having a full blown panic attack at this point. My breathing was abnormal, I was sweating, my heart was pounding, and I had this weird feeling that my entire body was electric and almost out of my control. I can't explain it in any other way than that, but I know that until that moment I had never really felt as if what happened next would be completely unknown and out of my control in any way. I feared going back to sleep.
I laid in bed trying to calm back down and around 3:30AM I guess the documentary I'd turned on (to take my attention away from the earlier experience) soothed me back into a sleep...briefly. While asleep, I was actually dreaming about being in my bed and in panic mode just trying to get back to sleep. It was as if i was witnessing what had happened only moments before. Or reliving it. SO very realistic. In less than an hour, the same exact thing happened, minus my yelling. BRIGHT LIGHT, ELECTRIC FEAR, PANIC MODE. All of it. I was able to catch a few minutes sleep between sunrise and 7AM when I had to get up for work. It was light sleep and the following day would prove to be less than productive to say the least. The light. The light was all I could think about.
Here we are two days later, and I cannot stop thinking about the white light. I've tried googling it. That got me results of brain disorders, UFO abduction stories, and spiritual experiences. One article even said that Bright Light Dreams are common for those near death. I can't seem to shake the fact that it was important for some reason, and sadly, I'm still scared to go to sleep. I've doped up with melatonin the past two nights in hopes to avoid it. I haven't seen the light again, and I'm not sure what to make of it, but I have chills just typing this all out. I hope that maybe someone out there has either had a similar experience, or has studied these things and can talk with me about what it may have meant.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, and if you cant help, just your reading this and letting me get it out helps too!